How Could You Forget Me?
by Megan12
Summary: A girl who had no where to turn and no one to turn to.
1. Default Chapter

Read First! This is a C&M fic. Chandler and Monica have been married for 14 years. They have a 14 year old daughter, a 9 year old son, and a 6 year old daughter. There names are (in order from oldest to youngest) Molly, Matt, and Hallie. Rachel and Ross are married and have a daughter named Emma who is 4 years old. Phoebe and Joey are dating. Joey and Phoebe live in apartment 19 and Ross and Rachel live across the hall in apartment 20. Monica and Chandler live a little bit away from the city in a medium sized 2-story house. Matt and Hallie have their own rooms on the second floor. Monica and Chandler have their room on the first floor, the biggest bedroom. Then there was the guest bedroom on the first floor also. Molly was stuck with a room in the basement. Actually she made the whole basement hers.  
  
V/O- People would think that I have the perfect life. But thats on the outside. (cut to kitchen table where the family is eating) You won't find me at that table. I lost supper and had to go to bed early because I got a B on a Spanish test.  
  
Flashback ~ Earlier that day "Mom I did my best!" Molly shouted at her mother. Molly had just gotten home from school. When her mom asked what she had gotten on her Spanish test. Molly told her a B. Thats when it started. School was mostly easy for her but not Spanish. She had a lot of trouble with Spanish. Molly was a freshman. She had a good amount of friends, but no one really knew the true her. The hurt one, the scared one, the confused one. She tried her best to please her mom but nothing worked. She had never given up in the past, but that was until today.  
  
Present Molly picks up the phone. "Uncle Joe....?" "Yea? Mol is that you? What's wrong?" "Uncle Joe, can you call Aunt Rach and come over?" "Why?" "I really don't wanna explain over the phone." "Okay hon, just hang in we're be right there." "Thanks." Molly hangs up the phone and walks to a chair that is under the kitchen where the family minus her is eating.  
  
I listened harder when I heard my mom say something. I inhaled sharpely seconds later. She was gonna have another kid. Matt and Hallie are bad enough but now another kid. Tears fall down my cheecks and I don't do anything to stop them. I can't believe they never told me.  
  
V/O - (Molly) I have never done anything wrong yet here I am constantly getting  
yelled at....I would never hurt my family but apparentally they don't feel  
the same way......  
  
[Intro]  
  
Where's my snare?  
  
I have no snare in my headphones - there you go  
  
Yeah.. yo, yo  
  
[Eminem]  
  
Have you ever been hated or discriminated against?  
  
I have; I've been protested and demonstrated against  
  
Picket signs for my wicked rhymes, look at the times  
  
Sick as the mind of the motherfuckin kid that's behind  
  
all this commotion emotions run deep as ocean's explodin  
  
Tempers flarin from parents just blow 'em off and keep goin  
  
Not takin nothin from no one give 'em hell long as I'm breathin  
  
Keep kickin ass in the mornin and takin names in the evenin  
  
Leave 'em with a taste as sour as vinegar in they mouth  
  
See they can trigger me, but they'll never figure me out  
  
Look at me now; I bet ya probably sick of me now ain't you momma?  
  
I'ma make you look so ridiculous now  
  
[Chorus: Eminem]  
  
I'm sorry momma!  
  
I never meant to hurt you!  
  
I never meant to make you cry; but tonight  
  
I'm cleanin out my closet (one more time)  
  
I said I'm sorry momma!  
  
I never meant to hurt you!  
  
I never meant to make you cry; but tonight  
  
I'm cleanin out my closet  
  
[Eminem]  
  
Ha! I got some skeletons in my closet  
  
and I don't know if no one knows it  
  
So before they thrown me inside my coffin and close it  
  
I'ma expose it; I'll take you back to '73  
  
before I ever had a multi-platinum sellin CD  
  
I was a baby, maybe I was just a couple of months  
  
My faggot father must have had his panties up in a bunch  
  
cause he split, I wonder if he even kissed me goodbye  
  
No I don't on second thought I just fuckin wished he would die  
  
I look at Hailie, and I couldn't picture leavin her side  
  
Even if I hated Kim, I grit my teeth and I'd try  
  
to make it work with her at least for Hailie's sake  
  
I maybe made some mistakes  
  
but I'm only human, but I'm man enough to face them today  
  
What I did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb  
  
But the smartest shit I did was take the bullets outta that gun  
  
Cuz I'da killed him; shit I woulda shot Kim and them both  
  
It's my life, I'd like to welcome y'all to "The Eminem Show"  
  
[Chorus]  
  
[Eminem]  
  
Now I would never diss my own momma just to get recognition  
  
Take a second to listen for who you think this record is dissin  
  
But put yourself in my position; just try to envision  
  
witnessin your momma poppin prescription pills in the kitchen  
  
Bitchin that someone's always goin throuh her purse and shit's missin  
  
Goin through public housin systems, victim of Munchausen's Syndrome  
  
My whole life I was made to believe I was sick when I wasn't  
  
'til I grew up, now I blew up, it makes you sick to ya stomach  
  
doesn't it? Wasn't it the reason you made that CD for me Ma?  
  
So you could try to justify the way you treated me Ma?  
  
But guess what? You're gettin older now and it's cold when your lonely  
  
And Nathan's growin up so quick he's gonna know that your phony  
  
And Hailie's gettin so big now; you should see her, she's beautiful  
  
But you'll never see her - she won't even be at your funeral!  
  
See what hurts me the most is you won't admit you was wrong  
  
Bitch do your song - keep tellin yourself that you was a mom!  
  
But how dare you try to take what you didn't help me to get  
  
You selfish bitch; I hope you fuckin burn in hell for this shit  
  
Remember when Ronnie died and you said you wished it was me?  
  
Well guess what, I +AM+ dead - dead to you as can be!  
  
[Chorus] - repeat 2X  
  
I cry as the song plays. I have it blasted as loud as my stero will go, which is pretty loud. I'm positive that you can hear it upstairs but right now I could care less. I put on my boxing gloves and start getting my anger out on the punching bag waiting for my aunt and maybe uncle to come. I have the song on repeat so it keeps playing over and over again. Ten minutes go by and I've been beating the hell out of the bag. I'm so angry right now that if I even saw my mom, I don't know what I would do. They never even bothered to tell me..... There's a knock at the door...oh god I hope that its not mom or dad. "MOLLY!!!!!!!! I'M COMING DOWN!!!" When I heard his voice I punched the bag again. Even hearing his voice drove me insane anymore. Why I don't know. "What do you want?" "Turn down that music NOW!!!" I walked closer to him till I was right up in his face. "Fuck off." I told him before walking back over to my stero and putting the bass on high so that the whole basement was vibrating. I could see that my dad was steamed and it just fueled my anger that he could be mad at me. "What the hell is the matter with you kid? Do you have no common sense at all?" "Don't know. You never taught me anything." "How dare you." He walked meancingly towards me and I didn't back away. I saw his arm go up and I ducked, he missed by a mile. "Can't even fight can you dad?" Neither my dad nor I knew that my mom had walked down and was watching the whole thing. My dad swung again and missed. "Damn dad you suck." "Why are you acting this way huh?" he asked as he walked closer. "Care to tell me about mom? Or wait you only tell the 2 angels.." "How dare you." "Stop right now." Both my dad and myself looked up. I was expecting to see either Aunt Rach or Uncle Ross. But who was there suprised me the most. It was Joey. My Uncle Joey had always been there for me , but then he had to move away because of his career and I hadn't seen him since. He was always writing to me telling me how his newest movie was coming along and telling me to keep at it. He was my dad's best friend so it surpised me what happened next. "Chandler, I can't believe that you would do that to you daughter." My dad got mad again real mad. "Joey how would you know...she's my daughter." I finally spoke up. Not out of anger but out of years of pain and sorrow caused by my parents. "Sure doesn't look like it from my end dad." For once I caught him offguard. Uncle Joey walked over and stood besides me. At that moment it all became to much for me and I began crying into my uncle's shoulder as he spoke the words I had never spoke. "Dude whatever happened to you and Mon? Monica loves kids...does she not even love her own daughter?" My dad's anger seemed to disappear and that angered me. "How could you do this to me?" I asked. You're my parents yet tou don't even know anyting about me. You have no idea all the pain that you cause me. What's wrong with me? Huh? I try everything I can to be a good kid so that maybe my parents will talk to me, but no, never." Rachel had walked in and I ran to her clutching onto her for my life. Uncle Joey however was not about to give up on me. It shocked me that someone could care so much about me. That was the only love that I ever knew. "Joey why don't you guys go upstairs. Molly needs some time." Aunt Rachel said. "Yea. Come on Chandler." My dad started walking towards me and I clung tighter to my aunt. "Don't let him near me." I wimpered. "Chandler please." "Rachel she is my daugher." I could see my aunt look pleadingly at Joey and Joey knew what he had to do although he didn't seem like he wanted to do it. He took my dad by the arm and dragged him screaming and ranting the entire way up. When he was gone and the door was shut I collapsed onto the floor. My entire body felt like lead. "Honey let me call Phoebe okay?" I nodded unable to speak. It was all just to much. Here I was a 14 year old girl, who should be having fun with friends, crying on the floor totally depending on my aunts and uncles to take care of me instead of my parents. 


	2. I Don't Know Anymore

V/O: You think that people care about you but in reality they don't give a crap. The whole world comes crashing down around you and you can do nothing to stop it. The house catches fire and no one is there to grab you hand. You're drowning in pain and no one is willing to help you...no one.  
  
I've been living with my Aunt Rachel for about three months now while my parents go to counseling and try to change the way that I've been forced to live. But to be honest I don't know if I actually want to go back home. The same thing keeps running through my head over and over again, haunting me constintally. Rachel tells me that it will go away but I'm not so sure. I not really sure of anything now.  
  
"Molly, honey, you ready to go?" Rachel asks.  
  
"Yea." I reply coming from my room.  
  
"How is the new song coming?"  
  
"I'm just playing one of Nickelback's songs."  
  
"Well the party is tomorrow and I know that you'll do great."  
  
"Thanks." I say giving my aunt a warm smile. I was singing tomorrow at Aunt Phoebe's birthday party. Singing and playing the guitar that Aunt Phoebe got me has become a great passion for me. I can let all of my anger out in a song and no one has to hear it. My parents would be there tomorrow and that was going to be hard. I figured that I would try my best to ignore them. I wasn't ready to hear their crap yet.  
  
We arrived at my school about an hour later, it was parent teacher night and Aunt Rach had come with me since I now even considered her to be my mother. I was amazing how my life had come down to this and I didn't know anything anymore. The teacher however wanted my whole life story which I was unwilling to give.  
  
"So Miss Green, would you be kind enough to tell me why you are present and not one Molly's biological parents?" my Geometry teacher asked.  
  
"Well, her parents are unable to attend and since I am like Moll's second mother, I am attending. Now can we get on with it? Why is she failing this class?"  
  
"Very simple. She can't do Geometry and I highly doubt that she will ever be able to."  
  
I was shocked to say the least and didn't know how to handle it. I walked out of the room while my aunt pleaded for me to come back. As if my day couldn't get any worse, my dad was about to enter the room as I was leaving. I took one look at him and bolted. He chased after me which scared me so much that I can't even put it into words. I ran out of the school and onto the street which was when I barely missed getting hit by a car, which I wouldn't have minded one bit. I ran off down the street running with all that I had in me. My dad, Chandler, was lagging behind and I took that as my opportunity, I climbed up the nearest tree and stayed there at the very top until he ran by before running in the opposite direction. I was terrified. I ran back to school and saw Aunt Rach getting into her car. I ran up to her and she grabbed me in a fierce hug. I was shaking and felt like a scared child with no where to go. We got into the car and drove back to her apartment where I curled up in my bed and cried myself to sleep. But my Aunt Rachel had other things to do.  
  
"Molly, I've gotta go out for a little bit. It you need anything just call my cell." she said at my door entrance. Seeing the tears still streaming down my cheeks, she gave me a light, motherly kiss on the cheek before shutting my door and locking the apartment door behind her. I pulled out my guitar and began practining on the song that I would sing in front of my parents.  
  
Rachel stormed into the Bing's house. Walking into the living room she saw Chandler and Monica sitting on the couch watching tv.  
  
"HOW DARE YOU SHOW UP AT HER SCHOOL!!!" she screamed. "Why the hell would you do that to her?"  
  
Neither Chadler nor Monica knew how to respond to her rage so she continued.  
  
"Someday she will pay you back for the way that you have treated her and in my opinion, it's long overdue." she walked out of the house got into her car and squealed away off down the street trying to calm down so I wouldn't see her that angry.  
  
I couldn't sleep in my bed after I had sang the song a total of 15 times until finally I got all of it right, Aunt Pheebs would be so proud. My bed was unwelcoming and seemed so foreign to me so I crossed the room and walked into my aunt's room falling asleep as soon as I hit her pillows. Her bed was safe to me. Somewhere where no one could hurt me and cause me more pain. Somewhere where I felt like I belonged.  
  
(When this began) I had nothing to say  
  
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me  
  
(I was confused)  
  
And I let it all out to find/  
  
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind  
  
(Inside of me)  
  
But all the vacancy the words revealed  
  
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel  
  
(Nothing to lose)  
  
Just stuck/ hollow and alone  
  
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own  
  
[Chorus]  
  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real  
  
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long  
  
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)  
  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real  
  
I wanna find something I've wanted all along  
  
Somewhere I belong  
  
And I've got nothing to say  
  
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face  
  
(I was confused)  
  
Looking everywhere only to find  
  
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind  
  
(So what am I)  
  
What do I have but negativity  
  
'Cause I can't justify the way, everyone is looking at me  
  
(Nothing to lose)  
  
Nothing to gain/ hollow and alone  
  
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own  
  
[Repeat Chorus]  
  
I will never know myself until I do this on my own  
  
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed  
  
I will never be anything till I break away from me  
  
I will break away, I'll find myself today  
  
[Repeat Chorus]  
  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong  
  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong  
  
Somewhere I belong  
  
The words ran around in my head. The lyrics proving true in my actual life and that's what scared me the most...I didn't know where I belong.  
  
AN: For those who have asked about my other stories, I am working on them. My computer is really screwed and the A drive refuses to work at times and to read certain disks so after I fix that the internet screws up again. So don't think that I'm just leaving them, I am working on them and on this damn computer.  
  
Oct 8: Okay now I'm adding this to clarify something. The song that she is singing for the party is by Nickleback, but the song that she hears on the radio(the lyrics in the story) are by Linkin Park. She isn't singing the Linkin Park song that is in the story. Just to clarify since apparently it's not that easy to see, my bad. 


	3. Facing My Fears

A/N: Just as a note, I know that there hasn't been that much friends interaction, but that is to come, I'm just trying to get some background in.  
  
V/O: It was the day of the party and I was scared out of my wits.  
  
I had rehearsed the lines of the song over and over again. I knew everything by heart, yet, I wasn't confident about it. I was scared that my parents would try talking to me and trying to get me to come home when I had no intention of going home anytime soon. I heard Rachel leave her room and I knew that it was now or never and I chose now. Now was the time that I would show them how I have felt for years. Today was the changing point in my entire life.  
  
"Molly, time to go." Aunt Rach said peering into my room with a smile on her face, "You ready to show them?"  
  
"As ready as I'll ever be." I replied grabbing my guitar and following my Aunt out the door.  
  
My Aunt Phoebe was the first person to greet me when we arrived. She pulled me out into the hall and I knew that something was up.  
  
"Aunt Pheebs, whats wrong?"  
  
"I just wanted to tell you thanks for singing for me in front of your parents. I know that you want them to hear the song and that it's hard for you, but I also know that deep down you're singing for me."  
  
"Are they in there?" I asked pointing to the closed door.  
  
"Yea. I just had to invite them, you know. It's like this whole way back in the day kind of shit and I kinda don't have a choice. But you can go in my room anytime that you feel that you have to. Just tell Rachel or me first so that we don't get worried."  
  
"Is Uncle Joey coming?"  
  
"Hell yea!! He's already in there. He flew all the way in for my party. Well and to protect you."  
  
"What about Uncle Ross? Is he still mad at me?"  
  
"Well that's hard to say. But Moll, just sing your heart out and all of them will get the message. Now go in there and say hi to Joey. He's been waiting to see you since he came." Aunt Pheebs said with a smile on her face.  
  
"Thanks." I said giving her a hug and then entering the apartment behind her, facing my fears.  
  
The party wore on well into the night and so far my parents had said nothing to me but I could feel their eyes on my every move. I knew that my mom was jealous of the way that I acted around my Aunt Rachel, like she was my real mom. But that's the way that it seemed, like she was my actual birth mother. Aunt Rach walked up to me at about 10 o'clock.  
  
"Are you ready to sing now?"  
  
"Yea." I replied, butterflies coming to my stomach.  
  
"You'll do great honey, just remember this, you're singing for Phoebe, but in the process you are telling everyone how you feel." Rachel said.  
  
"You ready Molly?" Phoebe said coming up to us.  
  
I looked behind my Aunt Phoebe and saw my parents looking at me again and decided that now was the time.  
  
"I'm ready." I said before fetching my guitar and taking position on a stool near my Aunt's room.  
  
I started to sing, all the while looking at my father and mother who had caused me so much pain. They looked back at me and I somehow sensed that they knew this song was about my life.  
  
-How the hell did we wind up like this Why weren't we able To see the signs that we missed And try to turn the tables-  
  
My pain inside was horrible but I continued singing for my aunt. I could really care less about my parents.  
  
-I wish you'd unclench your fists And unpack your suitcase Lately there's been too much of this Don't think its too late-  
  
I looked over at my parents and saw the look on their face's...they knew this was about me.  
  
Nothin's wrong just as long as you know that someday I will  
  
I looked over at my aunts and saw the smiles that adorned their faces. They knew that finally I was letting my emotions go away.  
  
-Someday, somehow gonna make it alright but not right now I know you're wondering when (You're the only one who knows that) Someday, somehow gonna make it alright but not right now I know you're wondering when-  
  
This was my favorite verse and I sung it with all of my might.  
  
-Well i hoped that since we're here anyway We could end up saying Things we've always needed to say So we could end up stringing Now the story's played out like this Just like a paperback novel Lets rewrite an ending that fits Instead of a hollywood horror-  
  
Aunt Rachel gave me the knowing look when I glanced her way. She knew that this meant a lot to me and even though I wanted to go hide, I knew that I had to stay.  
  
-Nothin's wrong just as long as you know that someday I will-  
  
-Someday, somehow gonna make it alright but not right now I know you're wondering when (You're the only one who knows that) Someday, somehow gonna make it alright but not right now I know you're wondering when (You're the only one who knows that)-  
  
I glanced over at my Aunt Phoebe. She was singing along with me. I had practiced the song with her a million times and she too knew the words of the song by heart. But they spoke to me and I was the one who was to put the meaning to this sad song of life.  
  
-[Solo]  
  
How the hell did we wind up like this Why weren't we able To see the signs that we missed And try to turn the tables Now the story's played out like this Just like a paperback novel Lets rewrite an ending that fits Instead of a hollywood horror-  
  
Both of my parents had tears in their eyes and I knew that my song touched home, literally.  
  
-Nothin's wrong just as long as you know that someday I will-  
  
I saw my Uncle Joey out of the corner of my eye. He was close enough to my parents to stop them but far enough away to let me come to them if I wanted to even though I knew that I couldn't. He was like the father I never had.  
  
-Someday, somehow gonna make it alright but not right now I know you're wondering when (You're the only one who knows that) Someday, somehow gonna make it alright but not right now-  
  
I looked over at Aunt Phoebe and saw the pride beaming in her watery eyes. This was what I wanted. I wanted to feel loved.  
  
-I know you're wondering when (You're the only one who knows that) I know you're wondering when (You're the only one who knows that) I know you're wondering when-  
  
As I sang the last part of the song I keep my head down. Knowing that I couldn't take my parents, I walked away when I was finished and found sought comfort in my aunt's arms. I didn't care what my mom thought or what my dad was trying to do but Joey was stopping him. I sought comfort in the only people I knew to ever truly care and unfortunately those people weren't my parents. But the weird part was that I wanted those people to be my parents but I wasn't willing to be broken again. It would be my mom and dad who would have to step up to the plate because I was too hurt to do anything.  
  
"You did great." Aunt Phoebe whispers to me and that was officially when I let go of the past and started hoping for a better tomorrow no matter who it was with. I had been through enough and I was ready to start and live the life of a teenager. My parents may hate me but thats what I've decided to do and on the down side of this happy occasion for me was that my only family would be my two aunts and my one uncle who lived miles away. But I knew that I could do it, I had to.  
  
Meanwhile unbeknown to me my uncle was about to change my life.  
  
"Chandler." Joey said. "Either you take control, or I'm gonna and your first girl may hate you forever."  
  
AN: Thanks so much for all of the reviews. So sorry that this took so long but my A:drive refuses to read any disks. I have tried everything but if you may know a trick please just tell me it would help immensely because I can't access half of my work on there. Anyway please review. Just press the little button and leave feedback. 


	4. A Deep Sleep

A/N: Okay for clarification, Molly hugged her Aunt Rachel at the end and Ross is mad at Monica for leaving her daughter and acting like she doesn't even exist.  
  
Never in my life have I been this terrified. Today was the day that I was finally going to see my parents and actually talk to them again. Uncle Joey and Aunt Rach are gonna be there to support me, but I still don't know if I can do it or not. I don't know what to say or how to act. Should I tell them that I'm missing home, or tell them the truth, that I love living with Rachel?  
  
"Molly?" Rachel called out as she walked into my room a week before the impending meeting.  
  
"Yea?"  
  
"Supper's ready."  
  
"Okay, I'm coming." I replied as I put my guitar away and walked to the kitchen.  
  
Conversation over dinner was light. I didn't know exactly how to bring up my fears about seeing my parents.  
  
"So Mol, how was school today?" my aunt asked.  
  
"It was okay. I think that I failed a west civ test though."  
  
"Oh well just make it up on the next one."  
  
My mom would have flipped out at that but Aunt Rachel seemed to understand all that I was going through and let me slide on this test. I don't know it I can ever live with my mom again. With this realization I excused myself from the table and told Rachel that I was going to take a walk outside before it got dark. She agreed and after grabbing a coat I was gone.  
  
I walked aimlessly around for a while not really knowing if I should go somewhere special or just continue walking. I decided to go to the special tree. I saw it as I approached the man sitting under my tree. I slowed down on my walk and when I got close enough I noticed that it was my father. Putting my hood up and shoving my hands into my pockets I hurried by him and it saddened me that he didn't even recognize his own daughter. But then it occurred to me that when I lived at home I used every excuse to get out of the house. So they never really saw me but still I didn't blame myself, it was their fault for letting me die inside and nothing could take that away from me. I though that I was a safe distance away from the tree so I took my hood down revealing my red hair.  
  
"MOLLY!!" a voice rang out.  
  
My dad. I had to get away as fast as I could so I started to run. Out of the park and on the side of the street. I thought that no cars were coming but when I went to cross the street I found out otherwise.  
  
Flying into the front of the oncoming car I broke the glass and rolled over the top and off the back of the still moving vehicle. My body hit the pavement with a sickening thud as the bystanders stared in shock. I couldn't see anything and I was scared to death. I could feel the glass digging into my back from the windshield and my hands were laying on more shattered glass. I heard my dad scream my name and felt him lift my head but then I saw black.  
  
The next thing that I knew was that I was lying in a hospital bed and my body hurt like hell. I was scared and I wanted my mother, who I thought was Rachel, she was the only person who acted like she even really cared.  
  
"Rachel." I crooked as I opened my eyes and looked besides my bed. To my surprise Rachel was sitting next to me with tears running down her face. When she heard me call her name she looked shocked and happy.  
  
"Oh my gosh honey how are you feeling?"  
  
"I feel like crap. What happened?"  
  
"Well to put it lightly, you hit a car and now have a broken arm."  
  
"That's all that I broke?"  
  
"Yea it's a miracle."  
  
"When do I get to go home?"  
  
"Well you still have that meeting with your parents but probably..."  
  
"No," I interrupted her. "I mean when do I get to go home with you."  
  
The smile on her face was hard to miss, but the sadness that lingered in her eyes was still there.  
  
"What about your parents Molly? They care about you."  
  
"I know but let me at least get better with you before I have to talk to my parents. I just can't deal with that right now."  
  
"I guess that would be okay."  
  
"Thanks Aunt Rach. Now I'm gonna go to sleep I tired."  
  
"Sure."  
  
I drifted off into a deep sleep and the dream I had then was one with memories that I had tried to hide too many times but this time I couldn't get away from them. They kept coming at me, attacking me and I couldn't fight my way out of it. I was drowning and I wanted to wake up but my nightmares had only just started.  
  
In my dream I relived my whole childhood. All of the times that I knew that I didn't fit in to the last time I was at home. My dad..he was so mad at me he looked like he never wanted me to begin with and I didn't really know what to do except react. The images came at me fast and furious and I got scared as I saw all of the times that my parents looked like they didn't want me. I would do anything for them to accept me but that's not the way the world works, and now 15 years later I know that.  
  
I woke up in a cold sweat and the room seemed to be spinning. I looked to my left and there was my father sitting there smiling at me. I screamed, louder then anyone could have thought that I could and I didn't stop until Rachel was by my side and my father was gone. It would be a long haul from then on out and I knew that I could do it before but now...I didn't even want to exist. 


	5. My December

I didn't want to be known as I was but there was nothing that I could do. As I walked into school I heard the snickering and all of the kids talking. It was the topic of the week me not living with my parents. It had been a year since the accident and still I lived with Rachel. I had healed from my physical injuries but the emotional ones were too much to handle so I just shoved them to the back of my head hoping to forget them all together.  
  
Chandler and Monica had been talking to Rachel a lot about Molly and they wanted her to come home to which Rachel was a little reluctant.  
  
"Rachel I told you a million times that we have been to counseling and are ready to meet our 'new' daughter." Monica stated with some sarcasm.  
  
"Monica, if you care anything about your daughter then you would know how she feels about all of this and respect her decision." Rachel said.  
  
"Rachel, we want to see our daughter and that's period!" Chandler yelled before exiting the room with his wife right behind him.  
  
It was two months later and it was Christmas time. I was dreading the visit that my parents insisted on making. I didn't have any gifts for them and I wouldn't no matter what. They betrayed me and there was nothing I was gonna change. My new baby sister was born a few weeks ago and I haven't been to see her yet. I think that it would be better if I never did see her then I wouldn't have the chance to screw over her life too. It wasn't' until now that I began to blame myself for all that had happened. I could have been a better daughter. I could have done all of the housework but instead I insisted on acting like a normal teenager which was great compared to what I was now. I hadn't seen my parents since a few weeks after the accident. They wanted me to live with them so they took it to trial. They don't really even respect me. I had to tell a judge the story of my life something that I am very reluctant to do. He stared me down until I broke down and told everyone there all of my feelings. Luckily for me my parents weren't there so it didn't bother me all that much. They wanted me to give them another shot but I just wanted to leave and never come back. Everything was my fault and it was all coming together now. Unfortunately, I was alone is all of this, I had no one to go to and nothing to do about it.  
  
My parents walk through Rachel's door. I see the baby carrier first and I freak. I had to get out of there now! I run into the bedroom and climb down the fire escape that is located outside of my window. I was out on my own now and I wasn't gonna come back. Even though I loved my aunts and uncles my parents kept coming into the picture and I couldn't deal with them...not now...not ever.  
  
"Rachel, where is Molly?" Phoebe asked.  
  
"She was right here." she answered turning around and seeing the chair the Molly had been occupying was now empty. "Oh no...she left."  
  
Running into Molly's room Rachel felt the cold winter breeze before she saw the open window and knew exactly what had happened. There were seven notes on her bed. One for herself, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, Monica, Chandler and one for her siblings. A cold chill ran up Rachel's spine and she knew that it wasn't from the snow now piling up on the chair by the window, it was from the fact that her niece or daughter as it felt like, was gone.  
  
A week earlier:  
  
"Aunt Rachel," Molly asked at the table that night. "Do you think that my parents blame me for leaving behind a mess just like I blame myself?"  
  
"What?!" Rachel asked genially shocked beyond belief.  
  
"I mean I blame myself, why shouldn't they?"  
  
Present:  
  
That was the first time that she had mentioned it all being her fault and Rachel, finally after about a year saw the one thing that she had wanted to see long ago. Molly had always blamed herself for everything and that maybe she had truly wanted to go home again but was afraid of what might happen if she messed up again. A tear rolled down her cheek as she opened the letter addressed to herself and began to read.  
  
The rest of the note was forgotten as the first sentence said it all: I'm sorry I screwed up again please don't hate me too.  
  
The note got ripped as Rachel fell onto her niece's bed crying the tears that Molly wouldn't let escape her own eyes. Her heart broke into a million pieces as Molly stood outside the window looking at her aunt. But it you looked closely, you could see right through the young girl and it was then that you would realize that she was indeed dead.  
  
They were trying to get her heart going in the hospital but her body was done fighting, she had given up.  
  
All arguments and disagreements between the group of friends was soon forgotten as they all mourned the death of Molly Bing.  
  
This is my December, This is my time of the year  
This is my December, This is all so clear  
  
This is my December, This is my snow covered home  
This is my December, This is me alone  
  
And I  
Just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed  
And I  
Take back all the things I said to make you feel like that  
  
And I  
Just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed  
And I  
Take back all the things I said to make you feel like that  
  
And I, give it all away  
Just to have somewhere to go to  
Give it all away  
To have someone to come home to  
  
This is my December, These are my snow covered dreams  
This is me pretending, this is all I need  
  
And I  
Just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed  
And I  
Take back all the things I said to make you feel like that  
  
And I  
Just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed  
And I  
Take back all the things I said to make you feel like that  
And I, give it all away  
Just to have somewhere to go to  
Give it all away  
To have someone to come home to  
  
This is my December, This is my time of the year  
This is my December, This is all so clear  
  
Give it all away  
Just to have somewhere to go to  
Give it all away  
To have someone to come home to  
  
Give it all away  
Just to have somewhere to go to  
Give it all away  
To have someone to come home to  
  
-My December  
By: Linkin Park  
  
AN: The last chapter is coming up. Hope you have enjoyed. I know that there isn't a lot of Friends scenes in here but this is dealing a lot with the girl and her family life. 


	6. Always Remember

"You never know when your time will come. It could be today or it could be years from now. But this was Molly's turn. She was too young to die this I know but she had finally gotten all of the joys of her life. I know that she would want me to say this to all of you gathered here today. She had lived a good life, is what someone who only knew her social life might say. But that is untrue. She had a very hard life and Chandler and Monica, I wanted to tell you that yes she was planning on coming home we had just discussed that issue earlier in the week. Why the guy had to shot her of all people I will never know." Rachel paused and looked at the crowd of people gathered to mourn the death of her niece and a tear rolled down her cheek as she continued on with her speech. "She was such a sweet girl. She always put others before herself and rarely cared about her feelings which is one of the reasons I think that she got so depressed. But I would like to end with this note, I know that Molly loved all of you deeply but maybe she didn't know that all of you loved her as well."  
  
The entire church was crying as they realized what Rachel was implying but her last statement. Up in heaven was Molly and she was watching the whole thing. She began to crying realizing all that she had left behind. In the beginning she had only meant to run away but then when the guy shot her she didn't really care whether she lived or died. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around.  
  
"Realize what your death left in return?" the deep voice asked.  
  
"Yea. But it would have been better if they would have showed that when I was still alive."  
  
"I know, but at least now you know how much they care about you."  
  
"Why did you say care and not cared? I'm dead why should they care now?"  
  
"Just because you're dead doesn't mean they are going to care any less."  
  
"But look at how sad I made them." I said sadly  
  
"Yes, but think of it this way, if you agree, you may take part in our next opperation. They never did find your body you know."  
  
Looking at the man in awe I finally realized who He was and smiled.  
  
"Although," he said. "You will have to stay here a week to watch them and see how much they love you."  
  
"Done." I said before happily hugging the tall man in front of me who was offering me a second chance at life.  
  
In the weeks that had passed I saw the way my life could have been if I had never left my parents. I finally realized that my parents did care, but it was a little to late wasn't it?  
  
Down to earth (the Bing house):  
  
Monica walked down the stairs to see her husband sitting on her deceased daughter's bed. It broke her heart to see him like this. She hid her feelings from her children but Chandler knew how she felt, the same way that he did. That everything was his fault. But Monica and himself had quickly changed the way that they were thinking knowing that that was the way their daughter had died. She had run away from them and Monica knew that Chandler still had all of his pain from when he was Molly when she got hit by the car. Silently she walked over and sat besides her husband. They both silently cried and sought comfort from each other, hoping that this pain had never happened.  
  
Heaven:  
  
I was crying as she watched her parents. I never thought that they would cry over me, but here they were right in front of me balling their eyes out over my death. I knew that I had to go down there and talk to them and tell them how sorry I was about all that had happened.  
  
"You will never be truely sorry." the voice said behind me.  
  
"But I want them to see how much I do love them." I said turning to look at the man.  
  
"Yes, I know. But what are you going to do about your aunts and uncles? You will never be sorry that you died. You wanted to die and had run away from your past so do you really want to go back to where you hated everything. Look at you when you were living with Miss Green."  
  
A small crystal globe appeared in front of me and before me flashed scenes from when I was living with my Aunt Rachel. I smiled thinking about all of the good times that we had together. Then I saw my aunt. She was laying on my bed crying. She kept muttering to herself and it wasn't until I listened closely that I understood what she was saying. "Why God? How could You take her away from me?" My Uncle Ross came in and held her will she cried over me.  
  
"But look at all of the people that I've hurt. Maybe it would be better if I just didn't go back so they could get over me and move on with their lives."  
  
But when I looked behind me He was gone leaving me alone with my thoughts. I had no idea what to do and for some odd reason I felt like I was back in my basement that day my mom had told everyone that she was going to have another kid.  
  
It's easier to run Replacing this pain with something long It's so much easier to go Then face all this pain here all alone  
  
I looked down at my aunts and uncles who were gathered at my parent's house to tell them the way that I had acted my last few days on earth. My father was crying but my mom seemed to be out of tears. Yet she got mad. She lifted her head up towards heaven and not known to her, to me. She shouted that I was never a good kid and that it served me right that I was dead. My dad jumped in and grabbed her in a hug as she began to cry. Whether she meant what she said or not, I will never know.  
  
Something has been taken from deep inside of me A secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see Wounds so deep they never show they never go away Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played  
  
I sit on my bed and my life scenes go through my mind. I see all of the good times and all of the bad times which were many. But I noticed that during all of the bad times in my life that it wasn't my parents to whom I fled, yet my Aunt Rachel. She would always comfort me and tell me that none of this was my fault. But I didn't believe it no matter how often she told me. In my eyes, it is all my fault.  
  
If I could change I would Take back the pain I would Retrace every wrong move that I've made I would If I could stand up and take the blame I would If I could take all the shame to the grave I would  
  
If I could change I would Take back the pain I would Retrace every wrong move that I've made I would If I could stand up and take the blame I would I would take all my shame to the grave  
  
If I could take back everything wrong that I have done, I would in an instant. My memory is beginning to fade and I know that it's all supposed to happen like this. I have only a few short days to decide what to do. My bedroom at my aunt's apartment is still the way that I left it, the window still open, my dresser drawers still open with clothes coming out. I still don't know what to do and the tears that I haven't allowed to fall my entire life come down.  
  
It's easier to run Replacing this pain with something long It's so much easier to go Then face all this pain here all alone  
  
Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back And never moving forward so there'd never be a past  
  
If I could change I would Take back the pain I would Retrace every wrong move that I've made I would If I could stand up and take the blame I would If I could take all the shame to the grave I would  
  
If I could change I would Take back the pain I would Retrace every wrong move that I've made I would If I could stand up and take the blame I would I would take all my shame to the grave  
  
Just watching in a sigh All of the helplessness inside Pretending I don't feel this place It's so much simplier then change  
  
It's easier to run Replacing this pain with something long It's so much easier to go Then face all this pain here all alone  
  
It's easier to run If I could change I would Take back the pain I would Retrace every wrong move that I've made It's easier to go If I could change I would Take back the pain I would Retrace every wrong move that I've made I would If I could stand up and take the blame I would I would take all my shame to the grave  
  
Today was the day that I would decide my fate and I didn't know what to do. I was still torn between my biological family and the people who I considered to be my family. I felt the hand on my shoulder and knew that it was now or never. I had figured out my answer in the spur of the moment and it felt like the right on until I turned around and saw the hurt look that the man's eyes held. The man was my father.  
  
"So you didn't choose us?" he said in such a sad way that it was worthy of my Uncle Ross's sad 'hi's'  
  
"No, Dad I just don't know if I could go through all of that again. It's too hard and I don't know if it will be worth it in the end." I said looking down.  
  
"But this is the end." I looked up and it was no longer my dad standing there. Yet it was my Aunt Phoebe.  
  
"Aunt Phoebe," I cried. "I don't know what to do."  
  
"Just follow your heart honey. It will tell you what to do."  
  
"But my heart's telling me to go home to Aunt Rachel."  
  
My aunt had changed right in front of my face and now my little sister was standing in front of me. We exchanged sad looks and she changed into my Aunt Rachel.  
  
"Sweetie, you may come home with me. But is that where you really want to go?"  
  
"Yes. I would love to live with my parents but it would be so hard to go through all of the favoritement again and I don't think that I could handle it."  
  
"So you would be willing to leave behind your only shot at a real family for me?"  
  
My aunt disappeared before my eyes and I cried at the lose of her prescene.  
  
My tears were blurring my vision but I clearly saw my friend standing in front of me.  
  
"Chels? Is that you? But you're dead."  
  
"Not in you heart I'm not. Why are you still dealing with my death Molly? I've been dead for a year it's time for you to move on. Go home and tell your family why you have acted this way and be with them. Your aunt will understand and so will your family when you finally tell them why."  
  
"But I can't."  
  
"You have to." she said before leaving me again.  
  
"Why does everyone keep leaving me!!" I yelled before falling onto the floor.  
  
"It is time." the man said behind me. "What is your decision?"  
  
I looked up at him and saw the right choice in his kind eyes.  
  
"I have decided..."  
  
AN: Okay I lied before, there will be one more chapter to close off this story. 


End file.
